What better time than Valentine’s Day to profile several family love stories? Here are a few marriages that stood the test of time.
William Aitken & Mary Irvine
The marriage of my gg-grandparents, who wed 14 Dec 1861 in Old Deer, Aberdeenshire, Scotland, endured 52 years until William’s death in July 1914. But their lengthy union was not without its hardships.
In a span of 22 years, they had at least 12 children, including one son who was disabled (described on the 1911 census as “feeble minded”). A newspaper report of their 50th anniversary celebration stated that “there have been 16 children of the marriage, 12 of whom survive.” However, the 1911 census, which asked women to report on the number of children they had borne, records Mary as having 12 children born alive and 12 still living—sadly, it is likely that the additional four were stillborn.
Throughout the marriage, William was employed for several years as a farm overseer and also rented and farmed a small croft. However, a serious accident in 1880 ultimately resulted in him losing his eyesight.
From the Aberdeen Free Press, 24 Apr 1880:
“LONGSIDE—ACCIDENT.—On Thursday afternoon, while William Aiken, crofter, from the parish of Cruden, was returning from the market at Longside, he met with a serious accident. He had with him a horse and cart loaded with wood. A boy had charge of the horse, and Aiken was lying on top of the wood. When about a quarter of a mile out of the village, in the direction of Peterhead, he fell off the cart and received severe injuries about the head and shoulder. He was taken back to the Commercial Inn, where he was carefully attended to by Mrs. Johnston and Dr. Lawrence. He was able to be taken home on Friday, but he is in a precarious condition.”
When William was eventually forced to give up farming in 1909, the couple’s neighbours generously held a charity ploughing match, with prizes donated by local businesses, in order to assist them in retirement.
From the Aberdeen Press and Journal, 3 Mar 1909:
“PLOUGHING MATCHES. LOGIE-BUCHAN.
A match was held at Mr. Aitken’s croft at Auchmacoy on Saturday afternoon. Keen local interest was taken in the match, as it had been arranged by the neighbouring farmers to give Mr. Aitken a help on his giving up the tenancy—he being incapacitated through an accident…”
Golden anniversary celebration, 13 Dec 1911, Ellon, Aberdeenshire
[Click to enlarge image]
The joyous celebration of William and Mary Aitken’s golden anniversary in 1911 (a party had also been held a decade earlier for their 40th) provides evidence of how loved and respected this couple was by both their family and community.
Alfred Strachan & Jessie Baty
My maternal grandparents married in Toronto on 9 Jun 1920, one day after Jessie’s 20th birthday. After 52 years together, they died just two months apart, leaving behind two children and seven grandchildren.
George Aitken & Ellen “Nellie” Mitchell
Both born in Aberdeenshire, Scotland, my paternal grandparents met in Toronto and married in 1921. They had 35 loving years together before Nellie’s death just two years after this photo that includes the four oldest of their 10 grandchildren (the little girl on my grandpa’s knee is me!) .
Eduard Hansen & Anna Marie Bock
Wed in Estonia 6 Aug 1882, my husband Peter’s great-grandparents celebrated their 50th anniversary in 1932, surrounded by their large family (they had eight children, two dying in infancy). Eduard passed away four years later. (Kneeling front and centre is the couple’s grandson Uno, who would one day become my father-in-law; his mother, Hilda, is seated front row, far right.) [Click image to enlarge]
Kurt Zwirn & Luise Pisching
From the outset of their relationship, Peter’s grandfather Kurt would have had two strikes against him in the eyes of Luise’s parents: he got their teenage daughter pregnant and he was Jewish. But he had no idea what further challenges awaited.
Born in Poland, Kurt had migrated to Berlin, Germany, where he met young Luise. Their first daughter was born in 1923 when Luise was only 17. The couple eventually married in 1927, with Luise giving birth to a son just two months later. Over the next decade, their family grew to include three more daughters.
By 1938, increasing Nazi persecution of Jews forced Kurt and Luise to make the heart-breaking decision to put their two middle daughters, then just 6 and 8 years old, on a train bound for Sweden where they would be safe in the care of distant relatives, never imagining the separation would be permanent. Their 10-year-old son was evacuated to France where he spent three years before Nazi occupation forced his return to Germany and internment in a forced labour camp. Their youngest daughter, then still a baby, remained with them in Berlin. Kurt and Luise’s fractured family would never be whole again.
Being in a “privileged” mixed marriage afforded the couple some protection during the early war years, although there would have been significant pressure from the government, friends and family for Luise to divorce her Jewish husband. In 1943, the Nazi regime escalated its efforts to deport all Jews, including those in privileged marriages, and arrested 1,800 men, including Kurt Zwirn, holding them in a detention centre on Rosenstrasse (Rose Street). Luise joined the hundreds of women who gathered outside, refusing to leave—even in the face of threats to be shot by Berlin police—until their husbands had been released. Amazingly, the regime backed down in the face of the women’s protest and the men were freed.
And what became of their family post-war? Their oldest daughter, raised by her German grandparents, vehemently denied Kurt’s paternity and her Jewish heritage, even marrying a Nazi during the war. Their son died of cancer at age 30. And the three youngest daughters all emigrated to North America, maintaining little contact with their parents.
However, despite all they endured, Kurt and Luise’s marriage remained steadfast for 49 years, ending only upon Kurt’s death in 1977.
James Aitken & Grace “Gay” Strachan
The final love story belongs to my parents, who met at a local skating rink in Toronto as teenagers. Their romance was interrupted by the Second World War, when my dad served in the Air Force, during which time my mom once told me she received another offer of marriage. But she held out for my dad, marrying him in 1948. They quickly filled their home with children—five in seven years!
Ill health eventually forced them to leave their home of 57 years, where they had raised their family and delighted in family gatherings with their 11 grandchildren.
Dad left us in 2009, just a few months after their 61st anniversary. It felt somehow “right” that he should go first. Mom, suffering from Alzheimer’s, was spared the intense grief of losing him because she didn’t remember. And he did not have to endure the anguish of watching her forget him.
great job Nancy! Very nicely done!!
Very emotional. This was amazing.
So well done !
Had never seen some of those photos of grandma and grandpa ❤️